by Samantha Morris*
Wow! It’s a big question and probably one with many answers. However, perhaps certain images or goals spring to mind?
Perhaps you already own, or are on route to acquiring your dream home, car, to be working in the right job, to being in the right social circle, or have you worked solidly to be promoted to the top in your industry? Other people place great emphasis on the need to be famous, to be the next ‘It girl’ or ‘It guy’ for their name and face to be spread across media and to build up a following of over 1000k or more on social media. Whilst on the other hand, some people may place greater emphasis on their health, a thriving relationship, or a balanced and happy work/personal and family life.
REAL SUCCESS IS AN INSIDE JOB
Although you can absolutely create the life you desire (and perhaps you already have!), the danger comes when many people believe that success and happiness relies only upon the approval and acknowledgement of others, or perhaps when they believe that success can only be achieved after you have reached the golden pot at the end of the rainbow? For example, I work with successful people who have already achieved or are on the road to achieving success either within their personal or professional lives, yet I am asked ‘if they are successful why would they need coaching?’ The truth is that no matter where you are on your path to creating a successful and happy life, it certainly does not buy you or guarantee you a one-way ticket to life-long happiness.
So… what happens when you are waking up every morning or going to bed at night having either achieved or on your way to achieving those goals, and you don’t feel totally fulfilled? For most people, the temptation is to continue on this search for happiness and success. They may even live their lives ticking off each of the ‘next best things’ according to a socially approved checklist. Certainly for a British woman in her 30s, I have witnessed and experienced the effects of peer and social pressure to work your way up into a career, to meet the right partner, to move into a house, and to have children.
However, It’s easy to get swept along with the fast pace of life rarely stopping to breathe, let alone to pause and ask yourself ‘am I really happy?’ The secret is that in order to be truly happy and successful, you must first re-connect to your own needs. Once you have nourished yourself from the inside, you will naturally shine, take action and attract all that you want from the outside world.
8 TOP TIPS TO RECONNECT TO YOUR NEEDS
1. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF
Take a step back and take a few long deep breaths. Perhaps find a sanctuary/ a safe place where you can really connect to yourself. Now be honest with yourself and ask whether your current situation is making you happy? If it is- fantastic!
If it’s not, it’s time to be honest with yourself: are you thriving or merely surviving? Reconnect to what lights you up from the inside, so that you can begin to shine from the outside and attract all that you desire.
2. THE POWER OF VISUALISATION, ENERGY AND MANIFESTING WHAT YOU WANT
A good way to begin to manifest what you want is to create a vision board. This can be done on pin interest, or on a board. The important thing is to cover the board with images that define what success and happiness means to you! It might be the colours, the images, or the words, which appeal but just go with your gut instinct. From there, actually start to visualise and feel that you are experiencing all that is on your vision board. Remember the thoughts are not enough- you need to actually feel that you have all that you desire! From there you can take the smaller and larger action steps to get there.
3. SHIFTING YOUR MINDSET
In order for change to happen, you also need to shift your energy and mindset.
Acknowledge that what you once wanted or needed may not be what you want now. Although this can be a scary prospect, it is a reality. We all change and develop so why wouldn’t our situations change as well?
Ask yourself what’s working for you now and what isn’t? Then question do you want to change your current situation or not? If it isn’t working question what is needed in order for change to happen? Then start to plan and take the action steps needed.
4. YOUR INNER HERO AND HEROIN
Who inspires you? What qualities do they have? What is it about their story that you admire? Where and how can you begin to acknowledge these qualities or stories within yourself?
We all need heroes and heroines. These are the characters or people who have stepped outside their comfort zones and have fully and unashamedly embraced their uniqueness to achieve fulfillment and success. As a result of working from the inside out, they have manifested and attracted their own success and happiness. The secret is that deep within you exists your own hero or heroine!
To remain in touch with your needs, I always find creating and listening to your own power playlist helps. This is important as whatever energy you feel, you will attract back to you! Perhaps you may even have a power soundtrack to your life?
5. RE-BALANCING YOUR LIFE
We’ve all experienced the rush of daily life! However, it’s equally important to take a step back and to pause and to take a birds-eye view. Life is not forever, and today is a gift. Yes, we all have to complete the practical things in life, however, it’s equally important to refuel and nourish yourself throughout the day. You wouldn’t run your car on an empty tank, so why would you do it to yourself? By incorporating 6-8 ten minute slots within your day for wellbeing or ‘me time’ (‘business meetings’ with yourself) you will be able to not only reconnect and nourish your own needs, but also work or live life more effectively. Try meditating, reading, listening to music, walking into a different environment, or daydreaming.
6. DON’T BE AFRAID TO BE YOURSELF
We are all completely unique and have so much to offer. However, so often it’s easy to get swept along with social, peer and cultural expectations to conform. If you do worry about what other’s think or being judged you’re definitely not alone! We are born to survive and to do this we must remain with the pack. However, ask yourself ‘how is this serving me?’ and ‘am I really thriving or just surviving?’ ‘Who am I pleasing?’ and ‘how is this impacting my happiness and success?’
Embrace your wonderful uniqueness and step out in confidence! Remember the old adage: ‘Be yourself, because everyone else is taken!’
7. FUN, SPONTANEITY AND INTUITION
As children, we are intuitive, curious and are naturally creative, yet we can lose this ability to have fun as adults. Our identities are shaped according to our family, social, cultural and media expectations. However, what is lost is an energy and a zest for life! We begin to conform, to lose our way and eventually the light dims within us. However, in order to truly reconnect to your needs and attract more happiness and success into your life, you need to reconnect to your intuition and sense of fun!
How did you have fun as child? How can you incorporate fun back into your life now? How would that feel? If you didn’t have fun as child, consider what would be fun now? Be spontaneous and try to step outside of your comfort zone!
When you begin to create space for your needs, you value you’re your worth! From there, you will have the opportunity to fully embrace fulfillment, happiness and success in their truest forms!
*Samantha Morris is a Certified and Qualified Life Coach and an Integrative Art Psychotherapist.